I am thing. Have a good time. Love each other, my sweet babies.
lane bryant, “soul tee by reebok,” $39.99
what’s with the random wordssssss. i seriously need someone to diagram this sentence for me so i know which adjective modifies what. i actually wrote you guys a fat mad lib in honor of this shirt- have fun !
The [sassy adjective] Shopper, by [your name]
[fat name like “Ashley”] walked into [plus size store proper noun] and looked around [depressed adverb]. “I need a new [plus size clothing noun] to wear to my [eating verb] party, and I only have [amount of money in the thousands] to spend.”
A [fat adjective] clerk approached her, wearing a full [same plus size store proper noun] outfit made of the finest [polyester. you can only write ‘polyester’ here]. “Unfortunately, all of our clothes cost more than [amount of money in the thousands] except for this [sassy adjective] t-shirt.”
[fat name like “Ashley”]’s eyes widened as she read the t-shirt. “[inspirational noun] [inspirational noun] [kind of unrelated physical activity] [positive feeling] [inspirational noun]… that’s perfect! I’ll take it.”
Later that night, [fat name like “Ashley”] arrived at the party, and was delighted to see that every other fat person at the [eating verb] party was wearing the same exact t-shirt (except for [fat name like “Kat”], whose shirt said [random European city]). “Just like last time,” she exclaimed [adverb], “Just like every time before.”
p.s. hi ashleys ! i chose the name ‘ashley’ because i went to a bbw bash last year and these women came up to me and were like, “ASHLEY !!! oh, sorry” and then took a photo of me to show ashley how much i looked like her, and when i tried to figure out who they meant i discovered there’s like… at least 10 prominent fat ashleys. i still don’t know who they meant ! i chose ‘kat’ because my friend kat asked me to use her name when i was stumped on the second name. haha.
You know what, fuck it! I’m going to do Christmas/holiday cards! If you want one message or email me your address and I’ll do it! Let me know if you prefer non-christmas cause otherwise it might have christmas-y content. If I do get any responses I’ll probably post a list just so you can make sure I got your message.
Fair warning that they may be weird and may not get there in time but gosh dang it I’ll do my best. Email me at email@example.com
Reblogging! And I probably will again!
Okay, last call! Then I will actually start sending them out.
How sick of Dukat do you think the Cardassian government is though.
"Deep Space Nine is requesting a representati—"
"Dukat they don’t like you."
"I’ll still go."
"Is this about that Bajoran woman?"
"I’m packing my things now."
"Dukat she’s not interested the entire Cardassian Union knows she’s not interested. Why can’t you figure that out?"
"Getting on the transporter pad."
"This is becoming ridiculous."
"Okay beam me to a ship. Any ship. Just send me to a ship and I can be there in a few hours."